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Rhia

[ website | some of my songs ]
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I apologize [06 Mar 2005|11:58pm]
the picture you can't see isn't anything special. it's because deviantart doesn't let you direct link pictures. it is only the background. but I changed some things to make it not pass the file size limit photobucket holds.

sorry. >____< I guess I got a few people excited.

it's your thought that countsCollapse )
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this canvas is blank|this room is empty|this song sucks [07 Dec 2004|08:22pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

"oh. you know me. I'm impulsive."
-clementine-eternal sunshine...

I think jim carrey after watching that movie can be a really good elliott smith. not that they should make a movie. he deserves much more. let's not ruin it.



I'm too attatched to things. I expect too much. so let's make another name and pretend I'm not the one who always messes up.

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I'm listening to you like a song on repeat{that means I love you} [02 Dec 2004|10:27pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

I love this song. it's been on repeat since 8:00 pm. it's 9:49 pm right now.

Well I tried to make it sunday, but I got so damn depressed
That I set my sights on monday and I got myself undressed

-america (midtown did a cover and it's amazing)

I don't want to do my chem lab.

would people over 18 please enter the fall out boy contest. even though it's mtv sponsered...you get to meet with them and see them record their upcoming album. peter. patrick, andy, & joe. what more could you ask for? I'll cross my fingers for you.

I'm running out of fake aces
this last one has your name on it
I can't cheat anymore
it feels so wrong
I'll give you the winning hand
and run
you said games are fun
it's not
when you're really losing
here's looking at you kid
10 points if you don't look back

oh yeah. I hate...okay. dislike my stand partner for full orchestra. he smells. and it's not only that. oh god. a full rant. okay okay. I'll try and make it short. it's not only that he smells. he does these weird tick-me-off things. like plucking pirates of the carribbean and doing the scales, repeating the notes inbetween. he tries to be funny. but he isn't. oh god. x__________X I usually can stand these people. I don't know why. I want to poke him with my bow.

boxes
box.
box me up.
blocked. wooden
faces censored
of feelings.
what is she thinking?

I don't know what it is I write anymore. I don't even think it's poetry. these words somehow connect. if you read it out loud. stopping in the right places, where there are punctuation. it sort of sounds cool. your laugh sounds cooler.

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I had a taste of two weeks ago|I was always such a procrasinator [26 Nov 2004|12:11am]
[ mood | content ]



you were my best bet and now I'm broke.





okay. so I splurged a bit. or...a lot? but 3 dvds for $25 isn't that much? especially when it's:
under the tuscan sun|in america|eternal sunshine of a spotless mind right? yeah they're previously viewed aka rented. but hey, they work.

I hope everyone's enjoying these days off. abbxe, doing okay in florida? it's been awhile since they've let us go. I love this. even though, english and chemistry lurking behind me. and tomorrow is the get-up-at-5-am to get the best deals on what you wanted all year. smells of licking stamps and counting rebates.

kevin's home. and we ate turkey. seeing how appropriate it is. I'm probably going to eat turkey sandwiches in the newspaper room for a few.

the only letters we ever write
are the ones we never send
the only books we ever read
are the ones you can never find
the only bands we listen to
are the ones you'll never hear

so on our right hands engraved in black
"we're so scene"
now upon the left, put
"I'm a fake"


other than recieving a rather belated birthday present from eulen (I have a new pencil case. exciting.) I updated the bm site. so it's not neglected. trying to catch up with the latest. I heard you were the great debater. close your eyes and turn around, meet the great liar

I haven't written any one/two liners recently. I guess school, whom I call, stress motivates me. or stimulates me.


it's 12 am. and it's friday on my watch. time to upload a new spanking song. I swear I don't have fuse in my house. okay. okay. I did. I'd love to have it back...

http://www.purevolume.com/beautifulmodesty
pull the trigger

we all loose 21 grams at the exact moment of our death [21 Nov 2004|11:41pm]










daphne loves derby makes me feel better. so does every other cd I have. so does your smile.

I sent $6 instead of $7. but they sent the ep to me anyways. it's so pretty. it's going to be hard not to show off the cover. it's so pretty.

21 grams is a movie you see without any parents. dad watched it with me. but oh well. sean penn is amazing. wow. so is naomi watts. yeah hollywood has good actors and actresses. just a lot of bad movies. focus theaters is really churning out *dies three times* movies. eternal sunshine of a spotless mind|the pianist|in america|21 grams gotta love them.

"at least I have a good heart..." haha. mmm. I'm having inside jokes with movies. oh well.

I figured out where to take michelle for her birthday. lilie and thuy agree with the idea. so I guess all we have to do is to wait for saturday.

three words.
hard. rock. cafe.
I'm guessing everyone throw in a $20. and I'll bring some more just in case. I think I'm going to cut into december allowance. I need to get a job. or something.

no. I need to get my grades up. no. I need to make someone laugh.

I need to get "on the road". I borrowed some photography books. let's hope it helps.

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[17 Nov 2004|12:20am]













he has our mouths taped up so we won't lose our jaws to the groundCollapse )

pull the trigger

I'm the Queen, open up. I demand. divine right in hand. Oh My God save the King & his black heart. [16 Nov 2004|11:32pm]











I have a surprise for room 821. it's in black & white. there are so many things in life you don't want to see. things you want to pass by and say oh what a lovely censor. yes. quite. asthetic. look at that marvelous shade of black. and then there are things you'd hate to never see. this is it.




moving on.

cameras don't point. they're polite. they shoot.Collapse )

pull the trigger

fake presents hanging from high ceilings are quite tasteful...not [15 Nov 2004|12:42am]
[ mood | anxious ]











I will not be late this year for christmas shopping. and I finally have the saosin ep. yes. the translating the name ep oh my. x_x I know we shouldn't be materialistic. oh well.

for the uninformed. and deprived. this is an out-of-print ep and anthony green is god.

pull the trigger

if we were up north it'd be different. your tongue would still be stuck to the pole [10 Nov 2004|11:29pm]
[ mood | worried ]






things have been moving fast. tomorrow's a chemistry test. I have slightly studied for. it's going to be uber cold. and I'm excited. I need to take something to get this cough out of me. I know it's probably pissing off people in classrooms. since my awesome skills of making noisy disruptions tally up to 1 cough/3 sec. but I really don't like the cough syrup. it's the consistency of honey, a nice gooey plastic purple. they really know how to make it consumer-friendly.

I stitched my cons. well the right foot one. the back was hanging by a couple of threads. tomorrow's camera day. I think. I'll see if I still feel like it is, tomorrow.

poetry club. nicole handed out typed up, organized, tipped and just wow. x_x. so much information. sponge. absorb...ness. I'm really excited about this club. I can't wait till we know each other. the inside jokes and non-toxic smiles-kind-of-way.

you were the last cigarette
the one I had to stop short
smothered on my courdory
someone's looking
quick
put him out
you're out
we're out of
matching matches
lighting lighters
someone saw us
you don't have much anyways
you're burning out
so fold your lips into a quiet one
play pretend
I put you out

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if licking stamps and envelopes aren't good enough then all you'll have are credit card companies [04 Nov 2004|12:19am]
[ mood | thankful ]







it feels weird having people stay over at your house...for more than just one night. people that use to know me when I was 4-9 years old...and then this gap called moving to the texas came to play. I think we're only on the second strike. they're really nice. my mom's happy. so I guess that's good. they talk bout the latest recipes, their kids, I've been listening dinner table conversations lately. and it's not the first time. I've come to the conclusion. chinese adults can only make conversations if the conversors are clever and they can insert a pun every five seconds.

I'm sorry if the brown is hard to read. but hey all the colors match...so...well. I'm sorry. oh my goodness. the notwist. is so good they're amazingly. *dies three times* good.

I think I need to return the about a boy soundtrack karen lent me and abbey's mix cd...

I hope everyone's life is going at least not too awful. which isn't much. but oh well. friday is report card day. I know I failed chemistry. I just know. and it would be even nice to pull off a B in french. since that passe compose test bombed...like some hollywood movie. I hope newspaper goes alright. I really hope people aren't mad at me. and aren't mad at each other. we're supposed to be awesome. and we are. it's just no one's gotten past the aw.

so farewell. thursday. is. violin. sectionals. I don't think I like mr. markuson. he's mad at me. for not wanting to go to corpus christi. seattle will be inside jokes and non-toxic smiles.

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if cool people smash their guitars...can I smash my violin? oh yeah. wait. I'm not cool. [31 Oct 2004|05:32pm]
[ mood | worried ]

if you hear mona lisa screaming
it's because I stole her smile
hidden under a funny punchline
knotted beneath your necktie
whomever can make me laugh
I'll share it with you


wow. state sucked. so I guess my parents felt bad so they shoved me into the galleria with $40. their $40. how weird is that? well I was stupid and wasted an hour at fye. looking at and listening to cd clips...

and in the end. of all that. walking...I didn't buy anything. I returned the $40. since it only seemed right. I feel really sarcastic right now. it's so corrosive it's eating me...ickness. sat workshop place...I cracked up about every...2 minutes. wait. seconds...yeah. people thought I was crazy.

karen got to tape for state. I can't wait for her results. I didn't get to tape. I sucked...so that means I need to be in orchestra next year. I wonder if that's an excuse...my brain shoved in. now that I am. a bit. attatched to the label of orch dork. label's sticking...I can't get it off. I don't enjoy orchestra. so I don't know why...I still want to be in it. there are so many other classes I want to take. especially photography. the one where you have to take art as a prequisite...but eh. I don't think I have enough space.

but I'll make region. area. and state next year.

I stole a watch from my brother. oh right. borrowed without permission. he's in Austin. he has a new watch and his old one was lying on the...night table. I don't think he'll miss it. it's a bit clunky...but. not too clunky that you'd call it clunky standing say...a meter away from me. so everyone. I'm a bubble. if you don't want to see a clunky watch.

people from canada are coming down to houston...and I have to clean my room. and pretend my house is a hotel
for a week. I have really good imagination.

may you be excused? yeah sure. sorry I wasted your time. I have an english paper to work on anyways. thanks for listening.

pull the trigger

a boy with a thorn in his side(PETE'S BOOK)...get it now. [29 Oct 2004|10:33pm]
state is tomorrow. mom's yelling. I can't stand it. I want to go somewhere. far. far. away. maybe 2093049539038 galaxies away. that'd be nice.
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you give me lemons and I make poison. the sad thing is. it was an accident [24 Oct 2004|01:28am]
I am sorry.
pull the trigger

the more we hide the more it shows|it's bout time we both get up and go [16 Oct 2004|07:49pm]
I'm sorry. I didn't like that entry. I need to do things. I've been slacking off my whole life. except seventh grade.









It's a long story that never bothered to get made shorter. so it fills my room. good thing it's not decorated so the walls are smoother. a dull knife-shaped cloud to spread the gloom. no more bumps along the road. just more accidents. I am the procrasinator. a stealer of styles and copier of smiles. the best punchline I have is myself. and that's not much. so poking fun hurts and bruises. but at least the audience is slightly amused. I am the writer that never needed a back cover. since all there are on the floor are starts of stories. and the endings got tossed out even rejected by the door. I invite the writer's block over to coffee never knowing my enemy is right in front of me. leaves me a bomb inside my pen and that's why all my shirts are stained again. but I'll keep writing. because that's the worst I can do. and everyone loves a rebel. can we ever. be. different from each other. rather. get. madder. us. crazy. kids. no. we. never. mattered.
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there is a movie of a moment playing around my wrist|this scene is a happy one [11 Oct 2004|04:00pm]
let's hope the projector gets stuck here







my film bracelet is falling apart. sad.
moments can cut. I thought only depressed director's did that.

words have become allies with me and our flags are starting to look alike because we have the same purpose:
to pierce your heart and your feelings



ahhh. *dances round the room* type of thing. lookie at me new el jay icon! yay. abbxe made it. it's charlie!! thanks muchness. it's a *die three times* muchness. <-which is a lot.

ahhh. last night or some night ago I had a dream of us with nicole being backstage and on one couch there was fall out boy and we were on another couch and abbxe's telling them to put their hands covering their face and then nicole got up holding a sharpie writing 'love', 'hate' on their fingers.

that would look amazingly...godliness. if we could get it together like that.
it would take maybe five minutes total to get them all charlie-d up but man. would the pictures rock. especially with the whole black & white film.


I did some work in newspaper today. not too much. It's hard there. the room's so big, no one hears you.
just my imagination.
after that. abbxe and I squished into her sister's truck...or...um. a truck. and we ate subway. te-hee. if there were such a thing as healthy fast food. there you go.
pull the trigger

sorry for all this complaining and boringness... [10 Oct 2004|07:00pm]
[ mood | blank ]

alrighty. three hours at Starbucks. trudging thru the english short story analysis paper with Sam. she's really cool. awesome taste in music too. that's always a plus in people. accompanied by a coffee frappacino...(venti!) is totals to...bearable. actually it was fun, even though thoroughly brain-damaging. that's what 20 minute naps are for. yay!

*sigh*
last but not least. chemistry paper. I have no idea who I shall interview...*smack thyself*
I better get started writing it though.

um. and now I have to go to SAT writing workshops on Sundays...people just have to inform my mom huh? good goddess it's only one hour. so. *fake grin*

let's get through this.
oh. can't. wait. for monday. which is. tomorrow. [audience cheers]

pull the trigger

this is where the blue screen is our light to read our favorite fairy tales by [09 Oct 2004|05:33pm]
[ mood | pensive ]

I'm so happy about the fall out boy/taking back sunday show.






I wrote some dark lines in a song and it's showing under your eyes
I tell you you look tired
and you deny it like always
but don't worry I've got the eraser
and you're wearing a watch
this time we'll make sure nothing goes wrong



I've been taking so many naps it's like a tv series
and the static I complain about all the time are my own thoughts
writing has become so much easier these days
and the black pen keeps marking my hands.
this is suppose to be an entry
but it turned out to be somekind of poetry

you know sometimes the tv programs are so poor
that commercials become the entertainment
and the commercials here are school and people talking to me
then the blue screen
when you can't see anything
I have no idea
but I've been thinking so much
about what I should be appreciating and anticipating
about what will happen in the next few days
hence the fob/tbs show, school, chemistry paper, english homework, so-so friends, newspaper deadlines
just so you know:

I'm happy. to know. I will be happy.
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doesn't it suck being tardy for the past? [08 Oct 2004|12:06am]
I baked a cake.
for you.
ever so sweet.

I bought a new clock.
last week.
it wakes me up late like your lies I'm always the one who hears it last.

[all of the above is true. it's coffee cake. and the clock. is made by someone who thought the teenage society would buy it. by just trying to make it look remotely retro. someone thought right. we're such failures because of our own desires]
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you know you're on el jay too much when you start using adjectives from the "current mood" list [07 Oct 2004|07:36pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

wow guys. I get my braces off on the 19th! ahhh. I can't wait. *dances round the room*

worried bout chem. arrr. I think I'll go to movie club tomorrow and then go back to orchestra room at 3:30 for violin lesson. mmm.

good gosh. I'm excited.
poetry club yesterday. yay. I can't wait. maybe there will be more people. but it's fine. the smaller it is the more tighter it'll be I think. and less copies of poems to xerox. X_X
and I think I'll bring Milano cookie things next week. we'll have tea! (excitedness)

and oh wow. I just realized it's elliott smith day on the 19th. hm. getting braces off and elliott smith day. I really need to make a shirt or something. I went on ebay two weeks ago and saw elliott posters. ahhh. they were so awesome. >.<

the 23rd is only 16 days away!!!
I've got a new song. it'll make you dance. I'll put a link in next post. I need to record like whoah!
and wow I sound so schizo in my entries. >.

pull the trigger

I could leave a copy in everyone's hands [05 Oct 2004|11:10pm]
[ mood | relieved ]

college night. hmmm. I just tagged along with Nick Cassiani. I didn't want to talk to the representative people so I just mmm. but it was exciting. I can't wait. I hope next year there will be more out of state schools. oh!!! Abbxe!!! His name is Danny!!! I think I know who you were talking about!

*cough...clears throat* moving on. yeah. eh. been doing a lot of coughing recently and my voice is shot thru and thru. I got my guitar restrung so I'm excited. I'm saying that frequently too. even thought overall life isn't that exciting. the exciting moments are sort of short bursts but it keeps you warm until the next one comes. unless there's this huge black hole called chemistry............................

arrr. I don't know. but...I'm excited. because mom said I can go to the fob/tbs show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*dies three times* *dies three times* *dies three times*

PETER!!!

oh man. I can't wait. definitely fall out boy to be the first show. ahhh. man. I'm excited? okay. not just excited......................................really excited?

and I think Shannon is one of the people who started "movie club". fun eh? they watched the goonies last week Karen left. because she doesn't like that movie. eh. ? I love the Goonies.
anyways, I didn't update for awhile so I thought I just. arrrrrrr. drag in another nothing entry. yay.

and I also got the figure 8 cd elliott smith!!! ahhh. it's so amazingly great.
and the movie "Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind" is amazing...............woiefjwpojfwopjefw. oh my gosh. X_)OPJOJPOSJEOPFJef yeah. that much amazing. ahh. dance dance dance.

m. I think I should stop. *hands over mic*
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